![]() sister gets a new job & chooses to start the week of the trip even though she has the option to start 1 week later.OP checks in with the sister multiple times to confirm the plan is still on & tells her to alert her if anything comes up.OP pays for tickets, hotels, etc, her and her husband request time off that week.sister agrees to what is basically a verbal contract for paid childcare for the week.OP plans a whole vacation (just because).Like I get that y’all think its annoying that OP cares about her birthday, and god forbid said “birthday week” but just imagine the situation without the birthday for one second. I don’t blame you one bit for being hurt and not wanting to talk to her! You expressed your hurt to her and made yourself vulnerable to her. Then, you gave yourself some time to process your disappointment and hurt feelings, and you called her. She could have watched the kids as she promised she would, been paid for that, still been hired for this job, and started a week later. She was given the choice between two start dates- her choice had no bearing on whether she got the job and they didn’t specifically ask her to start the following Monday. She accepted this, and she was being paid for it. She had already agreed to watch your kids. Your sister made an extremely selfish decision and I think she knows she is wrong, and knew she was wrong as she decided to do it anyway. I’m also an over-explainer of everything and I often take people on a long journey of details and feelings when I tell a story □ ![]() It’s clear this really deeply hurt you, OP, and I completely understand. NTA!! I think people are getting lost in the details and emotions OP is expressing. In a less charitable light than "she chose her career over being your cheap babysitter" we can look at it this way too: She broke a promise to her sister to get an extra paycheck and screwed her sister out of a vacation, PTO, and all the money spent on that vacation by telling her at the last minute. That OP might not be paying her market rate or willing to compensate her for not working sooner a) doesn't matter because she agreed to it and the price already and b) she's not a professional babysitter being hired on a contract here she's the kids' aunt watching them while her sister is out of town and OP is giving her a little money for it. Yes, her sister was choosing her career over OP as many comments point out, but that is not justifiable when: Her sister committed to this months in advance, is getting paid (even if it's less than her job would pay which is most likely), had the choice of a start date that wouldn't conflict, and could've told OP about it sooner. ![]() They're caught up on how her sister would be giving up an extra two weeks of pay by starting later but are ignoring that OP lost a lot of money cancelling travel plans at the last minute and is understandably pissed. I think people are judging OP for sounding upset and judgy about her sister, but it's completely understandable she is upset.
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